even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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