I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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