if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
