I puked a lego.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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