I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
cat food counts as protein by the way
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
