Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
