Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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