You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
its liver damage thursday
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
