Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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