Can Purell be used as lube?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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