shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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