I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize