Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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