Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
