I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
