Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
