She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
