he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
