i permit you to call me
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize