Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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