i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
