hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
