Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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