Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My vagina is very pro this idea
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
