there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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