I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
