Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
