were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
