Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
