Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
