This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
