She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
