Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
