what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
