when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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