i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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