I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
