I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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