just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
