I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
