guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
