I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
