yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
