please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Couch. On fire.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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