i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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