Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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