Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
