I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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