you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
