the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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