You're completely useless in the revolution.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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