Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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