I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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