non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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