the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
