Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
my poor anus
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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