Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
