I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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